Bitters Are Not Easy to Find

For all I've read in various articles put forth by the New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle, that quintessential cocktail ingredient, bitters, sure hasn't made the leap to ubiquity like I'd have expected.

I have read multiple articles discussing the revival of the classic cocktail, how vogue such a drink is today. Each and every time I read one, a mention of bitters points out the ingredient's importance in marrying flavors together. Gin and vermouth are nothing, but add bitters and you have a classic Martini. Whiskey and vermouth, the same; add bitters, and the two dissolute ingredients become one Manhattan.

Well, it sounds mouth watering, Mister. Where can I get these bitters that magically bind the flavors?

First, I must remember that amari and other "digestif" or "aperitif" bitters such as Campari, Cynar, Fernet Branca, Black Balsam, Kummel, Unicum, Malört, etc. are improper. Using these often extremely bitter concoctions is the wrong way to make a cocktail; one must use designated cocktail bitters. Old-school medicinal bitters such as Boonekamp, Underberg, and Swedish bitters may not work either. Their classification has something to imbibe remains dubious.

Abiding all that, I am allowed orange bitters and aromatic bitters, primarily. Some companies supply lemon bitters, peach bitters, and even mint bitters. But who cares? I can't seem to get any of the shit!

I own small bottles of Angostura and Peychaud's aromatic bitters. I also own Fee Brothers and Regan's orange bitters, and Fee Brothers peach bitters. I happened upon the peach bitters at a random liquor store, I ordered all the rest but Angostura online, as Angostura is so ubiquitous, it can be found at grocery stores.

What's the problem then? I have five bottles! Why would I want Hermes aromatic and orange bitters, which I can only buy in person, in Japan? Or Boonekamp, which is available only in Dutch apothecaries? Why would I want orange bitters produced by Angostura or Collins orange bitters, neither of which I have found online or in stores? Or The Bitter Truth, only sold in Germany?

Because I am obsessed. It's not my fault. The New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle have poisoned my mind with knowledge upon which I cannot act. Commercials are supposed to create a desire we didn't know we had. I've been duped.